Continued from July's Issue...

- Engagement is a stage before marriage. It shouldn't last forever.

- There is another pre-phase, where the couple swears an oath or makes a mutual nuptial promise before getting engaged.
Years ago, parents used to engage their children from when they were infants and the latter had to marry the bride or groom of their parents' choice without having a say in the matter.

- The tradition of getting engaged is slowly becoming extinct in Greece, just as it is in other countries. Most couples prefer to get married straightaway or just live together. However, there are still many young people who wish to keep tradition and make their relationship official in this way.

- Nowadays engagements don't last as long as they used to. Most couples choose a time period of between six months to a year, so they may have enough time properly to organise their wedding.

- We only get engaged once. If one member of the couple has formerly been engaged and separated, then he/she should marry without an engagement.

- Even in the most liberal couples, it is habitual for the man to do the asking (although sometimes things can happen in a surprisingly different way... )

- The engagement ritual is as follows: the future groom goes to his beloved's house to ask for her father's permission. He usually offers her flowers.

- In villages, the engagement is then announced in the local newspaper. In larger towns and cities, the announcement is usually made over the phone to friends and relatives.

- After the groom-to-be has offered the engagement ring, the future bride usually also gives him a present, such as a watch or a pair of cufflinks.

- The British/American tradition of hen or stag parties or bridal showers are not commonly conducted in Greece at this stage of the engagement.

- As soon as two people get engaged, they are officially considered a couple, and all invitations for events are sent to both of them.

- The ring should be worn on the left hand till the wedding ceremony and then swapped to the right hand.

- Unlike the wedding ring, which must always be simple, the engagement ring may have one or more diamonds.

- It is unusual for men to wear engagement rings unless they are gay or eccentric personalities.

- Greek people used to say: "We only marry once and for life." Now, sadly, it is more common for marriages to break up, but it still remains the prime constitution which makes the union of two people formal.

- As odd as it may seem, many pre-arranged marriages still take place nowadays. It only takes a peek into newspaper announcements or special matchmaking agencies or websites to see that the custom is live and flourishing. One of the latest fashions for mature future husbands is to select mail-order "fresh" brides from the ex-socialist countries of Eastern Europe.

- Pre-marital financial and legal agreements are not common in Greece.

- Bachelors' parties are a new trend (an American influence) and they are celebrated both by the bride and groom separately. A common place of celebration is the bouzoukia (see chapter on "nightlife.") The expenses are shared among couple's friends.

- If a couple wishes to get married in a Greek church, they should be aware that popular churches have a long waiting list, so bookings must be made long in advance.

- The word honeymoon (which in Greek is "minas ton melitos") originates from a time when the newly-weds drank a juice made out of honey - which symbolised a fertile life - everyday after their marriage until the moon was full.

- When arriving at the house where they are going to live, the bride's mother usually offers the couple honey (so that they may have a sweet life) and walnuts (for fertility).

- When Vion the wise was asked whether someone should get married, he replied: "If you marry an ugly woman you will be punished. If you marry a beautiful one, she'll become common property."

- The newspaper announcement for the wedding is arranged by the bride's parents. If they come from different areas, the announcement is published in the local press of both towns.

- Up until the end of the 20th century, wedding lists were not very popular in Greece. Today, however, many couples use such lists since they make life easier both for themselves and their guests. Although it reveals the price of the gift, it ensures that the guests will buy something the couple will appreciate.

to be continued...

Excerpt from "Watch Your Manners In Greece" by Christos K. Zampounis