Hospitality followed a certain ritual: when a guest reached the gates, the host welcomed him in person. He offered him a bath and a meal and allowed him to rest. Then, if the guest wished to, he answered questions concerning his identity, his descent, etc.

- Ancient Greeks enjoyed inviting friends, and even their friends' friends, for dinner. This custom spawned a special category of guests called parasites (para+sitos=wheat, grain, food in general). This word later on acquired a negative meaning, due to making this privilege into a habit. Plutarch wrote a whole chapter on how to use this privilege without exceeding the limits of good manners.

- In Plato's Symposium, Aristodemos narrates that he came across Socrates wearing a formal garment, and on discovering that the latter was on his way to Agathon's dinner party, decided to join him, even though he had no invitation. Socrates, preoccupied with a philosophical problem, was loitering on the way to the house, and Aristodemos (not noticing that the philosopher had stayed
behind) entered Agathon's house on his own. Even in this potentially awkward situation, however, Aristodemos was made welcome. The doors were flung wide open and a slave immediately showed him through to the dining room, where Agathon delightfully welcomed him, explaining that he had wanted to invite him personally but had been unable to track him down.

- Invitations were made by the dinner host writing on a wax board the guests' names, the date and time of the symposium. A slave would then visit all the guests' houses and show them the board. Dinner usually started at 9 o'clock.

- As soon as the guests arrived, slaves removed the newcomers' shoes and washed their feet.

- Ancient Greeks used to eat while lying on a sedan chair, leaning on one elbow and using their other hand to reach the food, which was placed before them on a small table.

Food would just suffice to take the edge off hunger, since gluttony was considered a serious flaw. It was also unheard of for someone to eat on his own - only the friendless had this pitiable and sorrowful privilege. They never used knifes and forks. Spoons were available, but they preferred replacing them with a piece of bread crust. They ate with their fingers; food was chopped in small pieces to facilitate gripping it. Tablecloths and napkins were un-known concepts. After eating, they wiped their hand with breadcrumbs or with a special glue which they moulded into small balls.

- Only men attended dinners or symposiums - concubines were an exception - since the discussion would be about philosophy and politics, incomprehensible and forbidden subjects for women and children.

- At family meals women sat on stools, and children only appeared during dessert. They stood or sat depending on their age and the family's custom.

- Wine was the Greek's favourite beverage. It was consumed after dinner, always mixed with water. Although they believed that drinking should be done in moderation, after a symposium only few were fortunate and sober enough to be able to hold their legs.

- They also favoured toasting. An example of a popular toast is: "Health, most blessed and venerable of all gods, may I live with you for the rest of my life, and may you be a merciful house-mate in my house."

- While dining they despised discussions of a sad or depressing nature: riddles were preferred. Whoever was unable to answer them was forced to drink a cup of wine.

- "Ostracism" was one of the hardest trials forced upon all those who acquired fame, glory and political power, and who were consequently prone to overthrowing democracy and setting up tyrannical regimes. The procedure was as such: each male citizen would write on an "ostrakon" (broken piece of pottery -and thus the naming of the procedure) the name of the person whom he thought should be exiled. He placed it in a fenced area at the agora.There, the archons would count them and whoever had most votes was condemned to a ten-year exile.

- One day, during a voting, an illiterate Athenian summoned Aristeides, and without knowing who he was, asked him to write "Aristeides" on the ostrakon.The astonished politician wanted to know ifAristeides had done him any wrong. "No, nothing," he replied, "I'm just tired of constantly hearing people crying out that he is the just."

- The figures of the dead were sculpted on tomb stones and their words inscribed on epigraphs. They all seemed young and beautiful, since no Greek wished to represent his ancestors as old and sick. The ascendants should always see their dead relatives as they appeared during the best years of their life. Men were usually portrayed next to their slaves.

- Over some graves, tall lekythoi (vials) silently announced that beneath them lay the corpses of boys of girls who never lived to see their wedding day. Such lekythoi were used for carrying water from the miraculous fountain of Kalliroe to purify the grooms before the wedding.

- Both Ancient and contemporary Greeks have a similar connection to their dead. It is interesting to note that the modern Greek word for funeral, "kideia," literally means "to take care of"

- Contrary to our western civilisation, which calls for a silent and introverted expression of grief towards our beloved's loss, Ancient Greeks tolerated and even looked forward to explicit manifestations of grief.

Literature often tells of men and women pulling out their hair, tearing their clothes apart, beating and bruising their chests, rolling and crying on the ground and abstaining from food for many days ... this is exactly what Achilles does in the Iliad, when he mourns for the death of his friend Patroklos.

to be continued...

Excerpt from "Watch Your Manners In Greece" by Christos K. Zampounis